Tuesday 29 May 2007

FR: Bread & Butter

I felt tired and did not feel like meeting my uncle and cousin from Cavan.
I was super exhausted from training. Got some hostile stares from weight room.Continued to pump iron. I completely ignore my uncle and cousin and watched 24 during dinner.

Next morning I wake up completely sore, did not feel like getting out of bed for lunch. I go downstairs, I see my cousin ironing his jacket. Was going to walk by him pretending to not notice him. He says something about going for lunch. I introduce myself with a handshake. I have lunch at Chinatown and talk to my cousin Kim.
I find out he likes to talk about woman,drink,fishing and Chinese films.
I feel conversation is lacking in depth and is mostly small talk. I later go out Glasgow to meet with my brother's friend and show Kim nightlife.

We walked to Gala casino thinking of questions to say. My mind goes blank. I sign up for membership and try to be friendly with staff. I need to focus on eye contact when introducing with handshake. Kim gets the drinks. Kinda cute blonde bar waitress serving should have chatted her up as a warm up set. Colin arrives with an entourage. I get introduced to his GF. I handshake with both hands but I stare at my hands. Need to widen eye perception to show eye contact. We leave the casino to go to a bar called Bread & Butter. I enter bar feeling lost what to do. I follow Kim to bar where most people are chatting. I sit with Andy and Kim thinking what to do and feeling like a dork. I approach the guys in the social group. I felt fearless approaching the guys. Got to chat with Colin and apply light kino to the guys. I guess the girls with us are GF's. I start to think not the chat the GF's. I did not commit to engage the group. I leave early because Kim has to drive home and need to wake up early.
I grab my jacket next to Jenny, who turns around. I say I have to leave and will tell Colin also. I give her a handshake and pull for a hug. Should have said I liked meeting her and want to know her better. Left the bar feeling good. While walking back to the car I see 3HB who were at the bar leaving, one wearing white hot pants and one wearing a short dress. Wow! What a pair of sexy legs. I felt the seduction of the game.

Things to work on:
1.Commitment
2.Engage whole group
3.Eye contact
4.Smile
5.Kino
6.Ask open ended questions
7.Begin with feelings rather than facts
8.Stand where people are
9.Talk to everyone
10.Do warm ups
11.Do not cling
12.Lead
13.Keep hand gestures low

Saturday 14 April 2007

Introduction

This blog will journal my experience to be social and overcome my fears. I have always been shy and find interaction with people/outside difficult.
By coincidence, surfing the internet I found information on social anxiety (SA). The syntoms and behaviours explain alot of the anxiety I experience. For example I find buying groceries uncomfortable. I always feel short breathed and worry people looking at me. Especially at checkout, it's awkward when packing groceries. I have this thought to pack fast as possible and it's so uncomfortable with people staring in line. I wonder, why is this happening to me? As I see other people so comfortable in their own skin. This question is motivation and drive to find an solution.

I found out medication or therapy is used to overcome SA. I bought some books from Amazon:
Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques
By: Gillian Butler (Author)

Anxiety Phobia and Panic: A Step-by-step Programme for Regaining Control of Your Life
By: Reneau Z. Peurifoy (Author)

I have read a little and feel its a great start to work on my SA. (Need to work on time management)
I have no idea how to talk to woman, it's like my mind goes blank, nothing, nada. I just stare and don't open my mouth. Thank god for the internet!!! I have found a thriving seduction community, which has guys like myself finding it hard to communicate with woman. There is lots of information on forums like fastseduction.com, which has links to different gurus and methods.
Out of all the methods I like charismaarts.com. The material just feels so natural and attractive to me.